Privacy Policy!

We are outraged and offended! For years, we have been able to solicit all kinds of personal information from you and your family. We use the telephone, visitors on your doorstep (can you say RL Polk?), and especially all kinds of inquiries on forms and at the the point of sale. No one asked why, or what we did with the information! Now, for some reason, simply because we ask for information on the web, it becomes important that we have a privacy policy and we tell you about it and if not there is some impending government action to get us. (Fortunately, they haven't, yet, suggested that we need to treat you with the same respect in the real world).

Here it is, our privacy policy:

1) We will use every effort to covertly collect as much information about you as possible. We will use all technological efforts to collect the information. Any loopholes or bugs in your computers operating system or browser will be exploited to its fullest to get every last scrape of information we can.

2) When technological efforts fail to obtain sufficient information to satisfy our databases, will be resort to real world activities. This will include, but not be limited to calling your friends, family and neighbors. We will especially try to speak with the younger members of the family, are more easily persuaded into divulging personal information.

3) After 1 and 2 have been exhausted, we will directly solicit the desired information from you. If you fail to provide the information we will restrict access to our web site and assess a suitable fee.

4) To fill in gaps from 1, 2, and 3 we will simply make up information.

5) When appropriate (that means always, because we cannot collect too much information about you), we will engage in completely illegal methods to obtain information about you. This will include, but not be limited to wiretapping, bugging, issuing false subpoenas and burglary.

What we do with information we collect

1) We do not allow you any access to the information. It is not of your concern what information we have collected or maintained about you.

2) We do not allow you to contest or ask for the correction of any information we may have on you that is incorrect, regardless of the content or source.

3) We do not tell you to whom we have shared, sold or distributed any of your personal information to!

4) We will sell your information to anyone who desires it. We will appropriately adjust the content of your personal information to obtain the highest fee for it. (Always sell the buyer what they want).

5) We will cross reference and index in master databases as much information about you as possible. We will insure that the accuracy is questionable. Remember, what counts is quantity not quality of information.

6) We will focus our sales particularly on the sleazy telemarketers, junk emailers and those who exploit children. (That is what we mean when in our printed literature we suggest that we carefully screen any clients prior to selling our data to them).

7) To make you feel good, we will offer an "opt-out" provision (that means we say we are for privacy, when we know how to do "good" marketing). If you actually select the "opt-out" provision, you will help us double or triple our revenue (we make a couple of variations to your name and sell one as three!)

Conclusion:

Stay out of our marketing procedures and databases activities. You are the consumer and with our vast quantities of collection information, we are able better to decide what you want to buy, how much you want to spend, what is right or wrong for you, than you are!

This is the 21st Century, the century of the Computer Database, get with the program to leave!

Let us know what you think: privacy@fulldisclosure.org